WWF

A little over a year ago, I started Weight Watchers. Bear Cub was four months old, and I was just squeezing into the "transistion" pants I'd been wearing since The Taz was born.  I started doing the weigh-ins at an At-Work program where you have to pre-pay.  That was the beautiful thing. You already paid, so why not just go? Because the meetings were set up for the people in just that office park, it was the same people week to week. After 3 months, people start to get to know each other. We start to have lunch together. A few of us start a walking group together. Next thing you know, these are your friends. A safe little group of people that won't judge when you tell them you go to the garage to scream, and you ate three mini-snickers bars before you even knew that you had opened the package.  Things were going swimingly. I had lost 25lbs. But then this whole Let's Move To Florida plan came along and I found myself sidetracked. Let's face facts - my focus on reaching my goal was not sidetracked, it was derailed completely.

Already joining the YMCA (and having a healthy desire to support the local retail businesses) I found myself hard pressed in justifying a weight watchers weekly fee. So, in an effort to keep myself accountable and create a virtual support group, I thought I would dedicate Thursdays to the cause.  I am stealing the idea from my friend Mel who started emailing a group of her friends/family/co-workers when she started her weight loss journey 40 weeks ago. She's lost nearly 75 pounds. She is my inspiration. And as fitting, I'd like to copy a portion of one of her recent emails to kick off this weekly tribute to a thinner/healthier me.

Recently I have been struggling with portion size.  I don’t want to eat a measured amount of food.  ½ cup of granola, 1 cup of milk, 8 oz of beef and broccoli, ½ chicken breast, 1 cup of grapes….pffft.  I want to eat something until I am done eating it.  I feel whinny and I want to collapse on the floor and throw a tantrum like a little child.   I want decide what is right for me….. And there’s the rub.  All my adult life I decided what was right for me and we know where that got me. 

My two constant companions were always “I deserve this” and “That was totally worth it”.  I have been trying to break these two phrases down lately….analyses them a bit.  Here is what I found:

“I deserve this” - If I had a hard day.  If it was a particularly emotional day or it was that time of the month….wait, I guess the day didn’t need to be that hard.  How many emotionally bad days did I really have?  Seemed like that time of the month stuck around longer than normal.  Sunny days deserved pasta and chocolate cake.  Rainy days deserved, ribs and corn muffins, crisp fall days deserved a Mexican feast.  Monday deserved a drive thru because I didn’t want to cook,  Friday’s deserved Pizza, Right?!..........I know I still reward myself with food.  I haven’t learned how not to yet.  Plus, why not reward myself when I am successful with my favorite thing.  But, one thing I know for certain.  My body did NOT deserve what I was feeding it.  

“That was totally worth it”- This is an easy one.  I used those words to comfort myself.  It was like a little mind game.  If it was worth it then it was not a bad thing.  What a delusion I created.  Just smoke and mirrors.  It is never worth what I did to my body, what I did to my mind and what I did to my soul.  My body didn’t deserve all that carp?  All that fat and sugar?  All that inactivity?  For what?  That one moment on my tongue?  For that next favorite tv show?  NO.  It is worth so much more that that.  My body proves to me everyday how much happier it is now.  There is just no going back.  So…..

As much as you annoy me, proper portion size, I guess I am in for good.  What is it they saying?  In for a penny, in for a pound.  That’s me!

So. Here we go!