Saturday, August 20, 2011

Things that make you go hmmmm?

A lot of strange things happened yesterday, the least of which was the fact that I turned down a request by my daughter to buy a rubber chicken. Who am I?

Sometime mid-morning, Bear Cub poured out an entire box of Cheerios. This isn't new. She dumps stuff on the floor all of the time. The strange part was that she dumped it in the exact same spot that she dumped a 1/2 gallon of milk the day before. I knew that someday I would probably have to play along with an imaginary friend, but I am a bit concerned that I will have to start picking up imaginary flatware now too.

As I was sweeping up 12 cups of scattered Cheerios, My Chef walked in. Looking like this:

The cowboy in him dipped me back and planted a wet one right on my kisser. This is not the strange part. Nor is the fact that my heart fluttered a little. The part I'll be hashing out with a therapist is the fact that he was wearing my jeans (and looked better in them than I do).

And the final strange thing from yesterday was the conversation ol' Gene Autry up there and I had before bed.  I was tired, so this is more of a paraphrase than a recited conversation. But here's how it went:

Gene Autry (aka My Chef): I totally impressed this guy in the kitchen today.
Me: Yeah?
Gene: Yeah, he was playing a rap station and The Humpty Dance came on. I started singing and didn't miss one word.
Me: Really?
Gene: I think it really impressed him when this rural boy told him "yeah, The Digital Underground was known for the Humpty Dance, but the rest of the cassette was way better." And he agreed with me. Then I pulled out some trivia on him and asked him if he knew the Chevy Chase movie that band was in.

Then Gene proceeded to sing a few verses of the aforementioned song. The strangest part of this whole thing? I did not dream that I was married to Eminem.

And that was my day. The End.

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