Thursday, September 23, 2010

Kinda Morbid

It's not like I sit around and think of ways that I'm gonna bite it. That'd be really morbid. But often times I find myself in a situation where I can see the article in the paper, or hear the story told at the hair dressers, or even used as an anecdote to a child for not doing something. The news article always starts with "It was your typical day in suberbia."  The hair dresser story starts "Did you hear what happen that Handeland woman. The one with the Irish Afro? Yeah, her."  And the mother sweetly taking a pair of scissors and stretch of elastic away from her child saying in a sing songy kind of way "remember the story of ol' Nikki H? You don't want to end up like that now do you?"  The story always ends the same though. Some tragic turn of events and I meet my early demise.  Yeah it's kinda morbid.

Last night I found myself in one of these situations. I was playing with the girls in one of thier rooms. My back is tired from a beating I took at  the previous day's YMCA ab/core workout so I stretch myself out on the floor. Bear Cub sees me on her level and gets the giggles as she runs towards me. The Taz gets that wild look in her eye. They don't say a word to each other. They don't need to, they're sisters. And they pounce.

At first it is a gentle fun little dog pile.  But I can hear the tone of the big one's laugh start to turn. The baby starts to growl a low rrrrrrrrrrrrraaawww. I start to sit up to proclaim my alpha dog status. This is when my ab/core muscles revolt and I am physically unable to get off the floor. They sense my weakness and hear the fear in my faux laugh. The Taz straddles my belly and starts bouncing up and down like I am some sort of air mattress. She tosses her head back chanting something that I can only assume are orders for Bear Cub to follow suit. She takes her orders well and straddles my neck and starts the bouncing on my chest. We are face to face and as I struggle to breath some of her drool hits my mouth.

This is when the hair dresser story flashes through my head..."Did you hear about the Handeland woman? Yep, just playing nice with her little girls and they were bouncing on her belly and the next thing you know SNAP her neck broke."  Or the mother taking a Dr. Suess book away from her son "No no. We don't read Hop on Pop anymore."   Morbid? Yeah. Kinda.

1 comment:

  1. Just read all of your postings Nikki, Funny stuff... except the parts about not sleeping. Ainsley is doing that to us right now, up at 4 a.m., NOT FUNNY. I look forward to reading more about your adventures in FLA!!!