Hiatus

Sometime before the weekend, one of my girlfriends posted the following on facebook:

MSD "is declaring independence this weekend from my wicked Tetris addiction, people who don't give nearly as much as they take, my fear of writing fiction, my anxiety about not being gorgeous/sexy/smart/good enough, my hoarder-grade cookbook habit, my exercise aversion and my self-imposed sleep deprivation. From now on, I declare allegiance only to God, devoted friends and family, and --of course-- CLH."

The following day, she gave everyone fair warning that she would be inactivating her Facebook account as part of her newly declared independence.

This is what I was thinking about as I was holding Bear Cub and watching fireworks from our bathroom window last night. What would I like to declare independence from? Certainly not Facebook.

I'm not gonna lie. This last week has been extreeeeemely trying. And here's the kicker: nothing out of the ordinary happened. It was just another week of day in, day out, parenting. But I will tell you this, there is nothing more eye opening to ones own flaws than raising children.  I spent the week analyzing every time I had a melt down. What caused it, how could I better handle my own emotions, how were my reactions shaping my children.  After all that analyzing, a gal could go into a real tailspin wondering if she's kind enough, patient enough and most of all - compassionate.  It's no wonder I had myself eyeing up our health insurance web-site for doctors in our network who specialize in straight jackets (or at least one who isn't afraid to use their prescription pad).

This Fourth of July, I think I will declare my independence from being in control. I will try to be a good example, but I will not try to make my girls be nice. I will provide safe surroundings, but trust God will keep gators from growing opposable thumbs and the ability to break into our home.  And I will be grateful when towels get washed, even if it's with dark colored pants and fuzz gets all over them. And for this afternoon, I may not even try to control my need for mass amounts of chocolate.  Happy Independence Day my friends.