Wednesday, November 3, 2010


What I am to 'fess up to is disgraceful.  I can already see the slow, disappointed, side to side head turns from many of you. From a few I can hear the tsk-tsk. And there is a small handful of friends that I fear will drop their jaws in disbelief. But I am ready for it.

 i did not vote.

There. I've said it. It's out there. And since 'Tis the Season For Placing Blame (aka election time), I am going to point my finger right at the State of Florida. Two reasons, and I think they're valid.

One: A social security card, marriage license, birth certificate, out of state driver's license and proof of current residency is NOT enough paperwork to get a Florida driver's license, ergo I am unable to register to vote.  It is a little known fact that I was born into this world with a last name that is now so foreign to me it may as well have been Jinglehymerschmitz.  I hand the woman at the DMV my documents. Which by the way, in FL they appropriately call it The Tax Collection Office- seriously.  As she is opening my birth certificate, I realize that her next question will be "where is the documentation that shows baby Jinglehymerschmitz was renamed to little miss Hunter?"  And I do not have said documentation.  After 3 hours in line, I am sent home with nothing but a list of what to bring next time so I do not waste the State of Florida's time.

Two: As we leave the Tax Collection Office - Troy says to me "MN could learn a thing or two from them." His reasons being that A. they print your license right there so you don't have to carry around a yellow peice of paper for six weeks while you wait for yours to come in the mail and B. they register you to vote at the same time.   I was in no mood to think Floriday is better than MN.  (I had spent the previous day sitting at the FL Department of Health wanting to punch fight.) To be quite honest, I left there thinking that I would spend the next 2-4 years driving very carefully so as to avoid ever returning to a state office. But then, Troy's words "registered to vote" rang in my ears. OK. I thought. Surely in the two to three weeks it takes me to get my missing documentation, I won't be salty anymore and I can get this taken care of. Election time isn't until Fall, so I have plenty of time.

But here's the thing. Fall never came. Sure, there were candidate signs in every other yard, and you couldn't turn on the radio without hearing how Guvna SoandSo wants to rip the last dollar out of my unemployed pocket. But I thought it was like Macy's putting out Christmas decorations before Halloween. I thought they were just starting the push really early. I mean really. I'm still wearing flip flops and shorts. It can't be fall. It can't be election time. Forida is too Hot.

But alas, I open up Facebook this morning and read about everyone who voted and I feel like a total loser. Oh well. I guess I will self-sooth with some candy from the girls' halloween pumpkins.

Wait a minute.

Did I just say Halloween?

Isn't Halloween in the Fall?


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